Padme!!

I didn't get to say goodbye to S - perhaps its better that way. It was nice to meet him, and to remember what it was like to feel that way about someone. He made me tingle!!

I woke up this morning, after a bad nights sleep, and was thinking about J and my anniversary.. thinking about this time last year. I remembered when D told me that he was going to stay with his gf, and how i told him that we were done. I imagined where I'd be now if I'd have carried that through then. I imagined if I had told him to stay away from me (and had the will to stay away from him) and had reconciled things with J. If I had wanted to, I could have walked away then, and possibly saved a whole lot of heartache. I wondered where I'd be now, if I'd be happy.. whether things would have been better all round.

Then this was my horoscope for today:
How did you get into your current situation? What on earth led to it? You probably need to look a bit further back before you go looking any further forward. There is a lesson to be learned. You did not make a mistake. You did not choose unwisely. Nor did you act rashly. You played a hunch - and, even though you are now starting to wonder if this was a good one, the jury is still out. A crucial story is yet to be told. New developments will soon give you much more confidence in your decision-making abilities. And as May goes by, you will start to see that you have been cleverer than you think.

How weird is that? And then, I logged online, and B was there, and started talking to me. As we were chatting, I wandered back into my room, and saw messages from D that I had missed while I'd been napping. He saw me online and just wanted to say hello, apparently. First time I'd heard from him in over 6 weeks. Of course, that upset and excited me at the same time, and I've been all wound up ever since.

I went and saw my friend, MsC, and she has fallen completely and totally for a german med student. Even though it looks hopeless, she is quite happy. Its weird, she could have been me, a year ago. I am pleased for her, that she has discovered this love.

Tonight Star Wars III was on tv. I haven't seen it since.. well, last time I watched it, I was with D, and I believe we may have not made it all the way through the movie. I remember watching the beginning together, and I remember watching the end. The middle.. well, we may have been in bed! We were so good together. I miss that.